Wife

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? - Dumas


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Sigmund Freud


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Anonymous


"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -Sam Kinison


"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." -James Holt McGavran


Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

-Patrick Murray


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
-Nash



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-Anonymous


First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Anonymous