SMS Jokes - 19+

Y r girls better at catwalk than boys?

bcoz there is nothing between the legs to get SQUEEZED.:-)
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Lady 2 Banta Shopkeeper - vch Shampoo should I hv?
Banta - If U want 4 Ur Head, take Head & Shoulder, But if U want 4 Hair in d Panty, take Pantene.
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Foran ek kaam karo,Apni Pant utaro, Chaddi bhi utaro, G**nd par Petrol malo, aur Aag laga do,Jo cheez Doston ke kaam na aaye, usey rakhne ka kya fayda.
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American aged 70 married 21yr old girl.
He had baby evry year & said tht his engine was turbo.
Whn 5th was born, Nurse said,"check engine oil, Baby is Black!"
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HEIGHT OF D0UBLE MEANING-
DAD went school to get son's report card.
BUSY MADAM: Abi nahi
DAD: To phir kab aaun me?
MADAM: Mere periods khatam hone k baad
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Conducter: Bachhe ka ticket lagega?
Lady: Abhi to ye meri nipple chusta hai.
Conducter: Nipple to Uska baap bhi chusta hoga, to kya woh bhi free me jayega.;-)
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Responses During Sex…
a) GIRLFRIEND – Wow darling, this is great.
b) PROSTITUTE – Come on.. finish it now…
c) WIFE – I think the ceiling needs Painting.
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2 women talks:
1st: Roz subha mera Doodh wala bohat Dabata hai
.
.
.
“Bel”
2nd: Mera tu Paper wala acha hai bilkul bhi nahi Dabata Nechey se hi Daal deta hai
.
.
.
“Paper”
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Arz kia hai marzi say ho sex to paap nahi hota,
Kanwari say ho tu mode kharab nahi hota,
Condom zaroor lagana meray dost
Loray k pass deemagh nahi hota!

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How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?

By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE
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Teacher: why did u laugh?
Boy: I saw 1 strap of ur bra.
Teacher: GET OUT of class for 1 week.
2nd boy laughed.
Teacher: why did u laugh?
Boy 2: I saw both straps.
Teacher: GET OUT FOR 1 MONTH.
She bent down 2 take chalk,
Little Johny started walking out.
Teacher: Johny, why r u going out?
Little Johny : What I just saw, I think my school days are over
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Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?

Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.

Sardar : Chutiya banati hai, photo to passport size ka hai,

samaan Kahan hai?
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How do you teach a girl maths?


Add a bed, subtract
her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square
root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't
multiply!
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Gareebi kya hai?
...??
...??
jab koi Ladki 2 Rs. me sx karwane k liye taiyar ho...
...??
...??
...??
aur tumhare pass sirf 1 Rs. ho
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Warn to all:
Kal Taapmaan rahega 43deg celcius. Kripaya aap apni underwear me ice dale, varna dono ande omlet hone ki aur mombatti pighalne ki sambhavana hai....

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Sir: Tum bade ya tumhare Papa?

Student: Mai...!

Sir: Kaise?

Student: Maine mummy ka Doodh peena chhod diya hai lekin PAPA abhi bhi peete hai
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