Jokes -2

A girl went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Coach : Mam, here two piece costume is not allowed.
Girl : Kaun sa Utaroon? !!!
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One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.
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A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist
Girl : Inspector saab, char mein ek ne mere breast pakde,
ek ne meri gand mari,
ek ne choda,
ek ne chooma.
Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai.... Ya land khada kar rahi hai.
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A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asked her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar kuchh nahi pahanti. ****************************************************************************
Man went to a bakery & asks
MAN : Abe pau hai kya?
BAKERYWALA : To kya madarchod, lund pe khada hu kya?
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A Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ....
Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me.
Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na.
Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.
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Teacher: Kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: Jalta hua bulb
Teacher: Why ?
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "Bulb bujha do to muh mein loongi"

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Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?
Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.
Sardar : Chutiya banati hai, photo to passport size ka hai, samaan Kahan hai?
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Sardar with big tummy go for walk in lungi.
One girl jokingly ask : Ye matka kitne ka?
He lift lungi & says : Nul ke saath 450 ka.
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A sardar havin sex with his wife when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega.
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Sardar : Maine ladka maanga tha ladki kaise ho gayi?
Sardarni : Tumhare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti.
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A sardar gave 36 roses to his GF, who thrilled, undresses lies Down spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses."
Sardar: "Why, cant you find a vase."
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A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji.
Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.
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Sardar : Lets try something different. Do it in ears.
Sardarni : Hohji, main behra ho gayi to?
Sardar : Aaj tak goongi hui kya?
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(A man visits his doctor and.....)
Man : Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doctor : do u have girlfriend?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u visit pros?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u go for mujra?
Man : No
Doctor : To khada karke uspar kya calendar taangega?

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SARDAR:- Yaar iska matlab kya hota hai, - "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, answer bata ke jaa.
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Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
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Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have cameagain..
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Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in myhouse.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....
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Thought for the Day!!!
If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sisand elder sis?
Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM ****************************************************************************
Do you know the similarity between "Dinasaurs" & "Decent Girls"
Answer: Both dont exist on earth !!! ****************************************************************************
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !! ****************************************************************************
Whats the height of Intelligence?
Answer : A 99 year old Sardar going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme .. ****************************************************************************
Tihar Jail ordered 999 Shirts and 1000 Pants for its inmates.
Tell why this odd combination?
Answer : Bcos SALMAN KHAN is coming and He hardly wear SHIRTs!!!****************************************************************************
Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d compliment"

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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

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Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other
so the man asked him why did he do so?

He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be
cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there
in a few hours.

After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his
mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and
not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his
distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,
"Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain,
aur
pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

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Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?

Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya,

Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion?

Sardarji thinks & thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n
let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies
Yaar...!!!

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Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My
MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

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Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I
LOVE U SISTER."

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What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?

Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

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Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey

Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!
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Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .

Sardar: Why are you praying for that?

Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.