Jokes - 11

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"

Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

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Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?

B'coz people started licking the wrong side.

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Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs??

No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How urs look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?

1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!

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Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend also my son, that's confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints…
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Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
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Teacher: (1)There is a frog,(2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
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Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
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Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
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