SMS Jokes

Daughter-Ma, when can you be sure that a man is thinking of SEX?
Ma-Hold your finger below his nose, If he is Breathing, then he is....

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A person never smoked,
never drank,
no affair,
no girl friend,
no flirt

When he died Insurance Company refused claim
saying-

"JO JIYA hi nahi woh MARA kaise."

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A malayali got burnt on his thighs.??
Dr. advised to apply burnol and take Viagra???
He asks: Burnol ok, but why Viagra?
Dr: It will keep your lungi away from wound!!!

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Drink karo to ankhe LAL,
mahndi lagao to hath LAL,
kiss karo to hot LAL,
sex karo to popat LAL,
pakde gaye to gand LAL,
aur bach gaye to jiyo mere LAL.

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Why LANGOTI is called LANGOTI?
SOCHO SOCHO

Because it covers LUND & GOTI!!!
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Man-Dr. I have a red ring around my penis
Dr. Take this ointment

Next day

Man. Fantastic Doctor!! Its gone!! what did you give me?
Dr. Lipstick Remover :)
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Why did the grammer teacher slap santa's son?

Because he asked: Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items and
PANTIES plural when it covers only one item?

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What is 7 inches long goes into wet hole moves front and back makes white form of liquid? Guess

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Judge: Kya ap hume wo jagah bata sakte ho jagah apki wife ka rap hua?

Sardar ne apni wife ki sari utar ke panty kholli or bola "ETTHAY, MyLORD, Etthay...

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Papa: Aaj School se itni jaldi kaise Aa gaye??

Sunny Machha Mara to Teacher ne Chutti de di

Papa: Aisa Kyu?

Sunny Machhar Teacher ki GAAND Par Baitha tha...
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What is the common between BOSS and Sperm?

... one in thousand turns out to be a human being..!!!
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Sardarni - Aaj 3 dakoo aye or meri izzat loot li

Sardar- Tum ne un ko roka nahi

Sardarni- Maine bahut roka lekin wo kehne lage ab hamein jaane do hum thak gaye hai.

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Sardar washed his underwear & hung it to dry near neighbour's panty & put a note on it:

Please remind me to remove my underwear, when you remove your panty.....

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2 NURSES wer discussing their SUHAGRAT
1st: 1st we did mouth to mouth respiration, then cardiac massage then cathiterisation & U?
2nd: Oh!! I just had an ENEMA
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