Husband: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 churail kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Husband: Apni shadi ki
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Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)
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Wife:
Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay,
Main aap ko save karti,
Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti,
Main her haftay tumhe change karta
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How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
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Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?
Sardar:Your honour,
it's easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.
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Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha
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Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kia hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:
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Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"
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A wife hit her husband with a frying pan.
Husband: What was that for..?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
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Q: "chhatri aur chhokri mein kya farq hain?"
A: 1."chhatri ko button dabakar kholna padta hain aur chhokri ko button kholkar dabana padta hain"
2."chhatri barsat k mosam mai uppar hoti hai aur chokari niche ........
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Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
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Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
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Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
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Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
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Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
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Kid: Mummy Susu aayi hai, chaddi utaro.
Mummy: he bhagwan ye bhi kya zindagi hai...
Din hua to iski chaddi utaro, or raat hui to iske baap ki chaddi utaro.
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SIR : BACHCHO KASAM KHAO KABHI SHRAB,
CIGRET NAHI PIOGE, NON VEG NAHI KHAOGE.
BACHCHE : NAHI KHAENGE SIR.
SIR : KABHI LADKIYON KO LINE NAHI MAROGE
BACHCHE : THEEK HAI SIR.
SIR : JUA NAHI KHELOGE.
BACHCHE : OK SIR.
SIR : DESH KE LIYE JAAN BHI DE DOGE.
BACHCHE : DE DENGE SIR, AISI JAAN KA AUR KARENGE BHI KYA
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Q: Why are c*ndoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is
Restricted!
Q: Signboard outside a pr*stitute's house:
A: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
Q: New AIDS awareness slogan:
A: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position
with different women.
Q: Why is $ex like shaving?
A: Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll
have to do it again...
Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why do 90% gals have left b**b bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between a P*NTY & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you
pull down the P*NTY..... it is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a woman and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless
later
3 ladies saw a dog screwing bitch violently
Doc wife: wow, they r enjoying life
Lawers wife: No its rape
Army Officer Wife: Lagta hai kutta leave pe ghar aya hai.
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